Lulu's Journey
by The Lady is a Vamp
Summary: Lulu tells the story of the pilgrimage in her own words... Rated PG-13 for later language and sexual references (wahey!) *New chapter - enjoy!*
1. Wakka's Visit

DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything 'cept my ideas, kay? I could copyright them actually.  
  
I woke up knowing fear for the first time when we were to leave Besaid. I had a dream. I was falling into a deep chasm. Looking up, I see Wakka, Yuna, Lord Braska and Chappu. I yell but no sound comes out. My moogle sits on the side, crying, but his magic can't help me. Then I hit the ground with a deafening crack. I sat up and screamed. Real life again. Cold sweat on my brow, I climbed out of bed and shivered. I didn't want Yuna to go. When I saw her first summoning, I couldn't believe it. She had Lord Braska's talent and the kindness in her eyes that was like her mother. Her way of summoning was different, a big show, come one, come all! It's certainly a sight to watch her. I heard a knock at my door.  
  
"Lu? Lu, you there?" It was Wakka. I could see his haircut from inside. My moogle, Parathion, jumped up and down on my bed.  
  
"Stop it!" I was so stressed and scared. I opened the heavy door. "Wakka. How's she doing?"  
  
"No sign." I could tell he was frightened too. We'd been friends since we were little children and never kept anything from eachother. Now I could sense something.  
  
"Wakka, you okay?" He tapped the door frame and shook his head.  
  
"I'm fine, just worried 'bout Yuna, ya?" I nodded.  
  
"You want to come in? It's a bit of a mess. Packing and everything."  
  
"Ya, thanks." I stepped aside and he sat down. Should I tell him about the dream?  
  
"Tea?" I gestured to the pan full of floating leaves.  
  
"No, thanks Lu." I shrugged and Parathion jumped into Wakka's lap. "Yo, Parathion, my moogle. Wassup?" They knocked hands and I wanted to smile but I couldn't stop thinking about Yuna.  
  
"Meep!" Parathion snuggled up to Wakka and fell asleep.  
  
"Sorry about him." I poured the tea mixture into a glass and sat down in a chair by Wakka. "He hasn't got much sleep either."  
  
"Ya, he loves Yuna as much as we do." He smiled, even though his eyes were gleaming. "Do you remember when they played tag? You were on Parathion's team, I was referee because I'd hurt my leg and Yuna complained about having no friends?" Wakka tickled Parathion's chin. "Yeah. Famous father I guess. She had trouble making friends."  
  
"But she shouldn't have done, Lu. She is such a great person ya know?" I nodded. Wakka rubbed his forehead. I saw a tear fall down his cheek.  
  
"Oh, Wakka..." I sat down by him and stroked his head.  
  
"She shouldn't... She can't... Lu!" He started to cry loudly. I felt a silent tear roll down my make-up clear cheek. I scraped it away and hugged Wakka's back.  
  
"I know, Wakka. I know. I love her too." And that's when I felt the fear. 


	2. Meeting Tidus and Chappu's Sword

I wiped my face and wrapped one of my fingers with a loose strand of Wakka's hair. He didn't say anything for a while. The only sound was Parathion's husky breathing.  
  
"You okay?" I said.  
  
"Yeah. Better." He sniffed loudly and I presented a tissue. He blew and it sounded like a trumpet. I laughed and he smiled.  
  
"You'd better go." I patted his back and we both stood up, Wakka balancing Parathion in his arms. "Don't wanna keep the boys waiting for practise, do ya?" Wakka smiled and then it reversed.  
  
"Practise?" He slapped his head and handed Parathion to me. "I completely forgot! Bye Lu, Parathion. I'll be checking on Yuna later."  
  
"Not if I beat you to it!" I smiled and tried to hide my true feelings. Parathion woke up and waved lazily. Wakka laughed and ran to the beach. My house was on the hill, near the waterfalls so he didn't have to run too far. I crept back into my room and put Parathion into his basket. He was jumping up and down again, beeping with that annoying 'meep' sound. I tapped him on his ball above his head and it bounced happily.  
  
As I was getting ready, I could feel the pain Yuna was in; she had been praying to the Fayth for more than a day now. She was tired but determined. Valefor was a mighty aeon, no doubt, but could Yuna hold his power in her grasp? It hit me then, right at that moment, that once Yuna had got this first aeon, she couldn't go back. Not without a lot of stress and abuse thrown at her like tomatoes hurled at a thief at market. I started to cry. Quickly, I pulled up my dress, kissed Parathion on the cheek, brushed my hair and locked the door. I ran up the hill, across the bridge and into the village. I slowed myself down, dried my tears and entered the temple. I nodded at the High Priest and he walked over.  
  
"Please tell Lady Yuna we wish her the best."  
  
"I will." I felt the stinging in my eyes and hurried past him, up the steps and almost tripping on the heavy carpet. Past the completed trials, I found myself in the small Cloister. A big blue cat had curled up in the corner. I was about to shoo it away when I realised it was Kimahri.  
  
"Psst! Kimahri!" Kimahri woke up and yawned. He walked over to me and crossed his arms.  
  
"Yuna gone long time." He growled.  
  
"I know. Have you been here all night?" He gave a quick sharp nod and guilt struck me like a string of a lute. "I'm sorry. I should have been here."  
  
"No, Lulu. It is fine. Yuna fine." I breathed a sigh of relief. It cleansed my body.  
  
"Good. How much longer do you think she'll be in there?" Kimahri seemed a little pissed off at that and showed his claws.  
  
"Yuna take as long as she needs." Kimahri turned round to the door and I just stood there, speechless. In the dim candlelight I applied my make-up and waited. Then Wakka walked in.  
  
"Wakka! You're here." I said, grumpier than ever. Then Wakka whispered to someone I hadn't noticed. It was a young boy, blonde, tanned and wearing an old Blitzball outfit. He looked like.. Chappu.  
  
"I told you she was grumpy." I said something but I wasn't listening. Finally the door opened and a weight was lifted off my heart. Yuna appeared, resting on the door frame and about to faint. She started to fall forwards and everybody jerked towards her but Kimhari caught her. She steadied herself and threw back her head.  
  
"I've done it! I've become.. a summoner!"  
  
*** Wakka said the boy's name was Tidus. It reminded me of the sea, where Wakka found him. I argued with him. He kept saying about Chappu and I couldn't stand it. The whole day had been too stressful. Earlier on, Yuna summoned Valefor and I rushed over, telling her how proud I was of her, stroking her hair like I used to. Wakka punched the air and smiled but I caught his eye. We both screamed "NO!"  
  
"Enough, Wakka!" I ended the row and stormed off. He shook his head and sighed. Tidus was watching. I knew it.  
  
That was then. This is now. I wait with Wakka and Tidus for Yuna to arrive.  
  
"What's taking her so long?" Wakka said. I shrugged and a silver glint caught my eye. It was Tidus, playing with CHAPPU'S SWORD. I grabbed Wakka by the shoulder and pushed him in the gap between the Inn and the shop.  
  
"You gave him his sword!" I shouted. Wakka shushed me.  
  
"Don't let him hear." He pointed to Tidus.  
  
"I don't care!" I sounded cocky but I was whispering. "I know he looks like Chappu. You know he looks like Chappu. You gave him his sword, Wakka. You just want Chappu back."  
  
"Like you don't." He said smugly. I let go of his shoulders and lent against the tent, shaking my head. "Sorry. I miss Chappu but I'm not that crazy."  
  
"No?" I was close to clocking him. "You used to date an Al Bhed girl who your parents hated. What was her name? Ettique?" I poked his chest. "You never spoke to her again after what happened. She loved you Wakka. She told me."  
  
"No she didn't." Wakka was acting so immaturely. I just wanted him to shut up and admit it - he wanted this new boy to replace Chappu. I was so angry with him.  
  
"I'm fetching Parathion." I turned to leave but Wakka held out his arm.  
  
"Wait till Yuna comes back." He bit his lip and opened his mouth. "Last night.." I growled like Kimahri, gritted my teeth and shook him off. Wakka ran after me and Tidus stopped me from telling Wakka to go and shove his bloody Blitzball somewhere where Yevon certainly don't shine.  
  
"What you guys talk about?" Wakka didn't say anything, just made patterns in the sand and refused to make eye contact with anyone.  
  
"Your sword." I skimmed my hand on the flat side of the blade. "It's a good sword. It belonged to someone very special. Take good care of it."  
  
"Sure will!" Tidus yanked his hand down from the air in a way only a sportsman does. I heard panting and looked up. Yuna was pushing a heavy suitcase over the steps of the temple.  
  
"Yuna!" I called out. "You don't need that much luggage!"  
  
"No, they're gifts for the temple we're to visit." She replied.  
  
"You gracing their temples is enough of a gift Yuna." Always a modest girl, Yuna left her suitcase and walked down the steps to us.  
  
"Kilika, here we come!" shouted Tidus.  
  
"You told him where we were going?" I angrily mouthed to Wakka.  
  
"Where's Parathion, Lulu?" Yuna looked in the folds of my dress in case she'd missed him. I shook her off.  
  
"He's back at my house. You don't mind if I..?"  
  
Yuna shook her head. "Not at all." She smiled and I walked quickly, my back to them. I felt my eyes stinging again. 


	3. Kilika's Tragedy

Thank you guys for all of your reviews!! I really appreciate you taking the time to write a review for this. It means a lot to me. Hope you enjoy this chapter!!  
  
Well, I can't stand it. I look strong on the outside. No, I just look bloody grumpy but I don't care. We stopped at Kilika. It's a bit ironic. We battled Sin on that boat to try and save it but no use came to it whatsoever. I just feel like a fraud as a guardian. I have to protect Yuna, and Yuna has to protect Spira. If we fail in that, what's the point?  
  
"What's the point." There was a thud behind me. It was Wakka, pushing his blitzball between his feet. It got harder and harder, as he got more and more frustrated.  
  
"What do you mean?" I shuffled along and squatted by a wall, resting my back.  
  
"You know." Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud. "Just, Yuna's angry, I'm angry, everybody's angry cos we couldn't save Kilika, ya?" Thud, thud, thud, thud. "So much hard work. If we're like this, who knows what'll happen when we actually fight Sin, ya." THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD..  
  
"Wakka, stop it!" I shouted. "You're going to break the floor with that thing!" He didn't stop. The blitzball kept going like a wheel, round and round and round and round. "WAKKA ENOUGH!" I kicked the ball away, my eyes gleaming. Wakka stared at me in shock, then he started to laugh. I giggled.  
  
"You should sign up for the team Lu!" He patted my back. "One problem; you owe me a new ball."  
  
"Sorry, Wakka." He shrugged and went back to helping the real team fix one of the piers. I scuffed my boots as I walked along the wood. The whole atmosphere reminded me of a song I'd heard four years ago.  
  
"Babies crying." I sang it quietly and tried to find Yuna. I saw Kimahri outside the Inn. I knew that Yuna was never that far away from him.  
  
"Kimahri!" I rushed over to him, my skirt nearly tripping me up. I looked at him and he hiccuped. "Kimahri? Are you. are you drunk?"  
  
"Away!" He growled. I patted his head. At first he tried to swat me off but then he gave in and I stroked his neck.  
  
"What's wrong?" He remained silent. "Kimahri, tell me." I said, a little firmer then I had meant to.  
  
"Nothing." He pushed me off and was sick in an empty barrel. To see him like this made me feel angry again. I felt Wakka touch my shoulder.  
  
"What's up with him?"  
  
"Too much to drink."  
  
"Kimahri? Drunk?" Wakka was astonished. I would have hated it if Yuna had seen him. She'd be so upset. I turned away.  
  
We stayed the night in Kilika then ventured on into the woods. Kimahri was horribly hung over, poor guy, and it showed in his fighting. He was sluggish and kept complaining, every road we turned.  
  
We fought Lord Ochu, Sinspawn Geneaux and some horrible tentacles that made me feel.. itchy. Wakka felt particularly upset that fiends had found their way onto that path because it's where Lord Ohalland used to play. I think we all felt bad that day. But, then again, a new day rises and we get a new aeon. I think that's as fair as it gets. 


	4. The Auroch's Fan

Hi everyone! This is a special one because one of my fave writers and reviewers gets a cameo! Take it away Sam.  
  
"Here we are!" Wakka said proudly as we were sailing into port. "Luca!" I'm not much of a fan of blitzball, but I have to admit, Luca is impressive. A sweet city, it'' buildings glinted in the warm sunlight. A cool breeze swept across the ocean and Tidus shivered.  
  
"You okay?" I mouthed. He gave me thumbs up. I heard the commentator talking about the Besaid Aurochs, flaming them to no end. Then the Luca Goers ship came in. I couldn't bear to watch their smarmy faces and stupid expensive uniforms.  
  
"He's just biased, guys. Ignore him, ya?" Wakka said sadly to the Auroch players. Secretly I knew Wakka wasn't going to win this. However, if Chappu were captain, the Aurochs would have won long ago.  
  
"Listen up, Goers." A voice spat into a microphone. It was Tidus. "Us Aurochs are taking the cup this year, ha ha!"  
  
"Oh Yevon." I sighed and shook my head. "Stupid brat." Then the commentator said something so quickly I didn't catch it.  
  
"Maester Mika!" Squeaked Yuna. I felt her pulling my arm. "Can we see him, Lulu, please? Wakka?" I looked at Wakka's sad smile and nodded.  
  
"Only if we don't miss registration." Said Wakka. Yuna nodded and grabbed Tidus by the shoulder.  
  
"Then we search for Sir Auron!" I heard her whisper. I had to run to catch up with them. Sure enough, Mika was there, along with the newest member of the Yevon clergy - Maester Seymour, the son of Jyscal. I wanted to raise my eyebrows at him. He didn't seem... Normal. I didn't like his aura.  
  
We walked up to the stadium together until we reached the changing rooms where Tidus, Yuna and Kimhari hurried out. I stood by the door, giving a pep talk to Wakka. Or rather, he gave one to me.  
  
"Cheer up." He said.  
  
"Me? You're the one going to fight for a place in the final!" I said, caustically.  
  
"I know, ya! You don't have to rub it in." Wakka smiled and started to laugh. "We're gonna rock the whole of Spira." He pushed open the door to the changing rooms. "You hear dat boys?" The team smiled and some of them agreed, while others waved at me awkwardly. We stepped into the small room and I sat down. There was a knock at the door. A blonde girl of about fifteen stepped in. She was wearing an Aurochs t-shirt, short shorts and funky blue boots. She clutched a programme tightly to her chest.  
  
"Hello! Can I come in?" She was very excited and was trying to keep her cool, but her voice faltered and went up quite high.  
  
"I hope we're all decent, boys." Said Letty. The guys chuckled and crowded round the middle bench were Wakka and I sat to listen to her.  
  
"Hi! I'm your biggest fan! I've been supporting you since I was three and I've seen all of your matches and I've been dying to meet you and..." Wakka stood up and took her by the shoulders. The girl gave a little gasp from this physical contact.  
  
"You like us, ya?" She nodded quickly. "Come on boys, autographs! Who to?"  
  
"Qui-ti!" Qui-ti shrieked and watched with glee as each of the boys signed the Auroch's page. Wakka took the pen and signed it with a twirl. She produced a small silver box from a pocket. "You wouldn't mind if I...?" She gestured to Wakka.  
  
"Sure." Wakka smiled. He liked the fans, especially one who had been with them for so long. He posed, his arm round her and Letty stood in and took the photo.  
  
"Thanks!" She smiled and Wakka went and put the cherry on the sprinkles, on the cream, on the sundae. He kissed her on the cheek. Qui-ti squealed and hugged him, then ran outside, satisfied. Everyone laughed. I glared. I didn't know why just then. I don't think I ever will.  
  
"Wakka's got a girlfriend, Wakka's got a girlfriend.." the boys chanted.  
  
"It's just my animal magnetism, boys." He showed off his biceps.  
  
"Are you sure it's not your hairdo, boss?"  
  
*** Yuna was kidnapped. It was annoying having to find her. I fought the Al Bhed with Kimahri (still suffering from his binge-fest in Kilika) and Tidus and we got her back. We ran to the stadium together and watched the game. It was a hard game but it was only a game.  
  
We didn't win but we did find Sir Auron. Luca was attacked by Sin and Seymour summoned a mighty aeon, Anima. It was so powerful that it killed all the fiends that came along with Sin for the ride in one strike. Wakka was pretty thrilled and Tidus.. he seemed to have met him before. They knew eachother pretty well. I can't help but wonder why....  
  
Now I feel sad. I had made a remark about Wakka which I wish I hadn't now because the brat snapped at me and I snapped back. I had spoiled an okay day. But it didn't matter. All you get in Spira was okay days now. 


	5. Mi'ihen Highroad

We plodded up the Mi-ihen Highroad, our feet dragging up the dust. Wakka looked pleased with himself. Probably just because of that fan. Bless her.  
  
I saw a familiar pointy green hat in front of one of the ruins.  
  
"Maechen? Is that Maechen?" I whispered to Wakka.  
  
"I'm not so sure.... Ya, I think it is. Look, he's lecturing Yuna and Tidus." I laughed to see them bored out of their skulls.  
  
"Oh dear..." I caught Sir Auron's eye. I realised he was staring at me and I felt shy and my knees quiver. I looked down at the floor. Wicked fantasies rushed through my head until Wakka thwacked my head with his new Blitzball.  
  
"Lu? You daydreaming again?" Parathion was under my skirts, grabbing my leg and squealing. I felt so embarrassed.  
  
"Chocobo knights halt!" we were all startled to see three figures on chocobos. "Lady Yuna," continued this woman. "I am Lucil, captain of the Chocobo knights."  
  
"I'm Elma." Said another.  
  
"And I'm Clasko."  
  
They kept talking but I couldn't keep my eyes off Sir Auron. How did he know Tidus? Where has he been these ten years? Had he seen Sir Jecht? Then we saw Luzzu and Gatta, two crusaders from Besaid. My shame, I had gone out with Luzzu.  
  
"A fiend is causing trouble up ahead. Be careful."  
  
"Thank you." Said Yuna.  
  
We bid goodbye to Luzzu and Gatta and carried on until we bumped into a woman called Shelinda, who looked like she'd split an onion and put each side on her head. We'd met her earlier on but I didn't know her very well.  
  
My feet were tired and so was everyone else so we stopped at Rin's and all took a break. Tidus and Yuna talked together outside about Sin. I stood by the doorframe with Wakka.  
  
"They make a good couple." I said.  
  
"What? He up to no good?"  
  
"No!" I said, laughing. "I'm winding you up, stupid."  
  
"Oh." I laughed again.  
  
"But they suit eachother. I think he's the best guardian out of all of us you know. He loves her." Wakka's stare made me add, "Like we do."  
  
"Yo kiddos!" He called out. "It's past your bedtime!" I shook my head and went to my room. I collapsed on my bed and feel asleep.  
  
Sorry! That wasn't so good. It's better as you read on, I swear! 0*_____* Ooh, please read on!! 


	6. The Shoopuf 'Incident' part 1

I stood there in that tent with Wakka. He was just ecstatic to be riding a shoopuf again. It was bloody annoying. He roped in Tidus with his excitement and I could just stand there and watch. Watch Sir Auron. Something was brewing in his eyes. I couldn't quite see what it was but I didn't want to know.  
  
When we were finally on the shoopuf it was very awkward. I was sitting next to Auron and every time he looked at me, I looked at the floor. Wakka was complaining about the Al Bhed. I wish he'd just shut his big mouth. Everyone knew about Yuna's lineage except Wakka. If he did, he'd kill her. No matter how long we'd known her, he'd kill her. I flinched at this awful thought.  
  
"Hey, we're guardians." Piped up Tidus. "I will protect Yuna from anyone, anywhere. And that's what we're meant to do, right?"  
  
"Right." Growled Kimahri. I saw Yuna mouth 'Thank you' to him. I sighed and watched some fish chase the shoopuf. Then, as quick as lightning, Yuna was gone. 


	7. The Shoopuf 'Incident' part 2

Everybody screamed and ran to the side of the shoopuf where she'd been taken.  
  
"Yuna!" screamed Tidus. He dived straight in after her, Wakka closely following him. The shoopuf had been shocked and was being hell to control. Kimahri jumped down to help the driver. So it was just me. And Sir Auron..  
  
"Do you think she'll be okay?" I said, wringing my hands.  
  
"She'll be fine." He said in a deep voice. "What about you?" He rested on his sword, Masamune, and looked at me. Sharp intake of breath. I stuttered and he came in closer, until I could feel his breathing on my face and saw the colour of his eyes - brown.  
  
"I'll be.. I'm.. You.. I.."  
  
"I know why you're nervous." He said.  
  
"You.. you do?"  
  
"Yes. I do." I don't know if he smiled or smirked. "You're afraid you're going to fail again." He turned away and sat down.  
  
"How do you know that?" I stood there, bewildered. He laughed that throaty laugh and I felt myself shaking.  
  
"Because I know about Zuke and..."  
  
"Shut up." I said. "Sir." I quickly added. Auron laughed again.  
  
"I like you Lulu. You're feisty." He stood up close to me again. "Yuna will be fine. You'll be fine. I'm fine."  
  
"I know you are...." I said dreamily. I wanted to hit myself. Instead I hit sir Auron. I pummelled his chest hard. "What? How can you say Yuna will be fine? Yuna will die! She won't be fine in the end of all this! I can't see why she has to...." Then I wailed. I was sobbing, my shoulders shaking. Auron scooped me up and I lost myself in his arms. His flesh muffled my cries and he stroked my hair.  
  
"What do you look like with your hair down, huh?" he said, softly, as if I was a child. "Enjoying yourself? No more duty or pain, just having fun, huh?"  
  
"My whole life," I said, still shaking like a leaf in a blizzard. "Has been full of pain. That's all I can look forward to. I'll never be happy. Never."  
  
"Isn't it more just a case of finding the right guy?" He sighed. "I tried to find the right girl and then I thought I'd found her. Her father was a priest, a very powerful one. I was a monk at that time. I met her and I thought I was in love. She was beautiful. Pretty beautiful. Then she asked me to marry her and then I realised I had no feeling for her, just pity. Her mother was banished and she only had her father who was of course never there so I would fill both of their posts. I said no and Yevon thought I was disgraceful, just for taking control of my life. That's what Yevon can't stand, losing control. Am I boring you?"  
  
"No." I said quietly. I looked up at him and he looked at me, eyes hidden by his sunglasses. I could feel my make-up running down my face. Auron wiped it away.  
  
"You see?" he said, his thumb now blackened. "You just need to find the right person." He leant down and I turned my head up. I closed my eyes and our lips touched. Auron pulled me in, his grip around me tightening and I held his neck as if I'd never let go. I didn't want it to end. I was myself. All the sorrow of Spira just drifted away and I was with Auron, who I'd admired since I was a little girl. When he did pull away, I wanted to hit him again for making it feel so awkward. Slap him for taking advantage of me. I would have done, just a second earlier. A second later I couldn't, because Kimahri was now standing there in front of us. I straightened my skirt and adjusted a pin in my hair. Auron sat down and waited for the argument between Kimahri and I.  
  
I had already planned my defence. "I was lonely" or "We're rehearsing a play." I expected an earful, but Kimahri just looked away, sheepishly. He was ashamed of me. Oh Yevon, oh Yevon, oh Yevon..... 


	8. The other side of the Moonflow pt 1

I guess I was pretty glad when the others came back with Yuna. They were all soaking wet. I cast a small fire spell and kept it in my hands, warming them up.  
  
"You okay Yuna?" I said, stroking the side of her face.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm sorry everyone!" She said, smiling and shrugging off a potentially fatal kidnapping just like that.  
  
"Is evellybody okay?" said the driver.  
  
"Please," Yuna said standing up, "Go right ahead!"  
  
"Yuna!" snapped Sir Auron. I looked at his face and for a few moments I saw emotion. I didn't want to know what it was but I'd seen so much of it before. 'Apologies' his eyes seemed to say. I didn't want to know. I really didn't. Not anymore.  
  
I couldn't wait till we got back to the other side. I was relieved that this whole ordeal was over. I stepped off the shoopuf a new me. A Lulu who is brave, will not be taken advantage of ever again. I wish it didn't sound so bad, but that was how I felt.  
  
I stood in the small potions tent with Wakka as people questioned Yuna. News must have got around fast. I smiled as she tried to answer their questions.  
  
"Now there's a rare sight, ya." Said Wakka.  
  
"What?" I said, turning towards him.  
  
"You smiling for a change." He lent against a tall wooden column. "You need some blitzball to cheer you up. Whaddya say, ya?"  
  
"Okay, ya." I shook my head. We found a big empty clearing, the land scorched red by the sun. "Shouldn't we be looking for a place underwater?"  
  
"You're not dressed right!" We both laughed. He passed me the ball and I leapt up and caught it. "You challenging me, Lu? Challenging me for the place of captain?" Then he remembered. "Oh, ya." He passed the ball again, this time too low. Parathion had sneaked up behind me and took the full blast of the ball, pushing him backwards, straight into a tree. He didn't move.  
  
"Oh my Yevon!" I cried and rushed towards him. "Parathion!" I said, gently shaking his shoulder. Suddenly, a small blue light blinded me, and in the place of Parathion was a small black cat sith wearing red boots.  
  
"Who.. are you?"  
  
"I'm a cat sith duh!" it said, shaking its head.  
  
"We know dat, but what's your name?" said Wakka, examining the sith.  
  
"I am a Fatal Cat Sith. I am the new incarnation of your former moogle Parathion. My name is Ruthy."  
  
"Ruthy!" Wakka said and started to laugh. "Oh ya," he said, wiping away a tear. "That's a killer!" then Ruthy hit him hard on the shin and he fell backwards. I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay, I get your point."  
  
"You're lucky I didn't kill you." Ruthy said, brushing off his arms. "Parathion is still here." He jumped up into my arms and pointed to my chest. "In your heart. And he's in mine too." He pointed to his ribcage. "It was Parathion's choice, although he didn't know it, that when he was too badly injured he would evolve and become... Dumdadada! Me!" he did a little dance and I laughed.  
  
"But what happens when you're too badly injured?" Wakka said, puzzled.  
  
"I become.. I'm not sure. Wait and see, huh?" He smiled and I hugged him.  
  
"Ruthy. I could get used to that." 


	9. The other side of the Moonflow pt 2

I hadn't met Rikku before, only heard Yuna (or 'Yunie', as she is affectionately known) talk about her. She's actually very sweet but deadlier than I imagined.  
  
"Hi!" she said her voice like an excited bird. "I'm Rikku, pleased to meet you!"  
  
"My name's Lulu." I said in my usual monotone. She smiled.  
  
"Guess where we're going next! GUADOSALAM! How cool is that gonna be? I've waited YEARS to see these Guado guys."  
  
"Rikku?"  
  
"Uh-huh?"  
  
"Are you an Al Bhed?" she gasped at how straight forward I was.  
  
"Yes but... Was it the eyes? It's always the eyes." She shuffled her feet. I smiled and patted her shoulder.  
  
"Don't sound so glum. Guadosalam right?" Piped up Ruthy.  
  
"Wow! A Cait Sith!" she said, bending down to shake Ruthy's paw.  
  
"That's my breed, don't wear it out!" he smiled and they got talking. I walked over to where Yuna had sat down. She looked tranquil, like water. All of her fans had left her be now and I needed to talk to her.  
  
"Yuna, you do know that if Wakka finds out about you or Rikku..."  
  
"I know that. I'm willing to take the risk. He should understand. I hope he does." I don't know how she knew, whether it was written on my forehead or something, but she said, "Did anything happen with Sir Auron when I was away?"  
  
"No." I snapped. "Why would you think that?"  
  
"I know you're one of his biggest fans and you were both all alone on the shoopuf... Kimahri might have mentioned something."  
  
I shook my head. "What did he say?"  
  
"Only that he'd never tell Wakka or anybody else. He was really disappointed Lulu." Yuna's voice changed slightly. It wasn't pity, something different, something new for me. "I think... I don't think he trusts you anymore."  
  
"I know." I sat down beside her. I relaxed my shoulders. Rikku and Ruthy were playing tag in the distance. I heard Wakka shout, "Don't let him near your legs!" I smiled and looked at the dusty road between my feet. "Kimahri thinks I'm going to fail again." Yuna hugged me. "The thing is, Yuna, that he doesn't trust me around you. You're very special to all of us, especially Kimahri."  
  
"I know." She smiled. I hugged her until we had to leave. 


	10. On the way to the Farplane

"No." That's all I could manage out of my mouth. Nothing witty or even a proper sentence. Just no. "Wakka, what is she thinking?" I hissed. Wakka shook his head and took a bite into a pear.  
  
"Idunno." He swallowed, wiped his mouth and I shook my head. "Well, Yuna's going to the Farplane to see Braska so she might not have made her mind up, ya? Hey, don't look so grumpy."  
  
"What are you saying? This is my normal face." He laughed.  
  
"I'm.. Going to see Chappu." I nodded. "It's not wrong, is it? Just I don't want to open old wounds, ya?"  
  
"Don't sweat." I said.  
  
"I already am." Wakka sighed and ran up to see Kimahri. I glanced over at Tidus. He shrugged.  
  
"You ok?" I mouthed. He shrugged again. He hadn't been with Yuna as long as we had but I could see the fire in his eyes. He was a true guardian and he loved Yuna. I could see that, even if he didn't. Not just yet anyway.  
  
"What's wrong?" I jumped. It was Auron.  
  
"Sir Auron!"  
  
"I think we're past formalities, don't you, Lulu?" he said, hardly moving his mouth so we looked as though we were just walking.  
  
"Yuna knows. Wakka doesn't. And he doesn't need to. You told anyone? Any of your old friends know about your little conquest?"  
  
"Lulu, don't talk like that."  
  
"It's my voice." Auron shook his head and went to talk with Tidus. Ruthy peeked from underneath my skirts.  
  
"He's cute. You like him, don't you?"  
  
"Oh, that's right!" I said sarcastically. "You weren't you when we locked tongues, right?"  
  
"You kissed him?"  
  
"It was a little more than a kiss, Ruthy." He climbed up onto my shoulder.  
  
"So what was it like?" I sighed.  
  
"The most amazing, mind-blowing, waves crashing on shore kiss I've ever had. Also the most embarrassing moment of my life." Ruthy hissed in my ear.  
  
"Ready to relive it?" I spun around to see Rikku, mouth wide open. "BUSTED!" said Ruthy.  
  
If I had deathtouch I'd kick him hard. 


	11. Farplane Memories

Hi guys! I really appreciate all the feedback. It helps to make my stories more enjoyable. (Hopefully they were enjoyable in the first place but let's not open that door...) Sorry if I get some bits the wrong way round except I'm in Zanarkand at the moment and going this far back is quite hard. m(__)m Scusees while I hit my head! Again! m(__)m  
  
DID YOU KNOW: Okay, this is pretty random but John DiMaggio is the voice of Wakka and Kimahri. He also voices Bender from Futurama! Now whenever I watch it, he keeps saying "Ya? Ya?" (shudders)  
  
"Rikku, it's not what you think!" I pleaded. We were about to step into the Farplane. Rikku looked from me to Auron, then back to me.  
  
"What do you see in him?" She put her hand on her hip and bit into her apple. "I mean, I'm not trying to flame your taste or anything, just...." she whispered, mouth full, beside my ear, "he wears socks and sandals." She pointed to his feet and shook her head.  
  
"Rikku, that's not the point, the point is...."  
  
"Yo! Lu! You coming or what?" It was Wakka. I was pleased to be interrupted. Rikku waved as the strange jelly door enveloped me. I breathed in and tried to focus on the task in hand - Yuna's marriage offer.  
  
I saw her in front of her father and mother. Her mother's face was no longer filled with the warmth and kindness I had known for a very short time. Instead was this blankness. She just didn't seem alive or dead, just existing. I couldn't bear to look at her anymore. Then I saw Wakka talking to Chappu.  
  
***  
  
"Come on Lulu! This way!" Chappu took Lulu's hand and led her under the heavy-blossomed tree.  
  
"Oh my Chappu. It's so beautiful here."  
  
"I knew you'd like it here." He stood up and patted his toe in the warm waters. "It's nice tonight." Chappu sat back down beside her. "Lulu, I have known you for such a long time and I know I'm younger than you but.. I think we have something special."  
  
"Chappu, what are you saying?"  
  
"Lulu, I love you and I always will. I wanted to tell you this because I knew I'd never get a chance to once I've fought Sin. I won't be coming back."  
  
"How do you know that?" said Lulu, her voice full of awe.  
  
"It's just a feeling." Chappu pointed to the dark sky that hung over Macalania. "Full moon." He looked into her eyes and held her hand. "Like your eyes. They're so full. Your lips too. They're so full.." he leant in and kissed her as the pyreflies burst into the air around them.  
  
***  
  
I stood there, looking at him. No life, no hope, nothing. Just nothing. It was hard to know that that was what he was now. Chappu was dead and I missed him so much. I would never be the same. No one would ever love me like that again. I would never love like that again. I smiled properly for what seemed like the first time. My Chappu was gone. Wakka's Chappu was gone but he'd always be there with us in some way. I knew it. He was behind us, the whole way. I loved him. I did but I let go.  
  
"You always said I looked grumpy but those were the happiest days of my life."  
  
I was so true.  
  
Aww! Smushy smushy smushy for Valentine's day!  
  
MWAH! 


	12. Electricity

"He he he he he he he...." said Rikku as I walked alongside her.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" I said, putting my arm around her.  
  
"He he he he he...." she nodded.  
  
"Being afraid of lightning is nothing to be ashamed of, Rikku. I had a friend who was scared too. Her name was Lady Ginnem. She had yellow hair, like you, and it was hell for her to cross this place. It's horrible, I know but we'll help you get through it."  
  
Rikku nodded slowly and smiled at me. I heard laughter. When I looked up, I saw Auron smirk. I left Rikku with Yuna and went up to him.  
  
"What's so funny?" Ruthy said into my ear.  
  
"I have no idea." Auron looked at me with a sideways glance.  
  
"We'd better keep moving or we'll get hit again." he pointed to Tidus, hair singed but still smiling.  
  
"Fine. We'll talk while we're walking."  
  
"I have a better idea." He pulled me to a conductor and thrust his sword into the ground. He took off his glasses. I saw his eyes properly for the first time. One of them had a healed, but still prominent, scar running down from his forehead to by his nose.  
  
"What is it, Lulu?"  
  
"What was so funny?"  
  
"The fact that you act like a mother to others but can't help yourself. I can help you." I put my hand over his mouth tightly, so his jaw couldn't move.  
  
"Shut up. Please." I felt myself weakening and took my hand away. "Don't talk about it. That's behind us now." Auron put his hand against my cheek and stroked it.  
  
"What, you're going to act like it never happened?"  
  
"What, you're going to act like it never happened?" Chappu stood on the beach, the air cool on his face. Lulu said nothing; she just gazed at the sinking sun far away in the horizon. "I don't understand you. You tell me you wanted it to happen but now you've just decided to throw that away? Our chemistry, our friendship? I love you Lulu." Chappu took a step closer to her. Lulu turned so her back was facing him. She hung her head and felt the warm, salty path of a tear fall down her cheek. Her mouth was sealed.  
  
"I'm going to make you love me again. I'm going to fight Sin. I'm going to be a hero, Lulu, someone you can be proud of. I'll marry you and we can live by the waterfalls, like you wanted! We'll have beautiful children, as beautiful as you, and we'll live in Besaid, happily ever after." She remained silent as she had done for the past few days. "I'll be thinking of you when I cut Sin's throat. Goodbye Lulu." Chappu hesitated, just to check if she was changing her mind. He didn't want to do it but he loved her so much it was painful. She was going to have it her way. Chappu threw his gift from his brother, a magnificent sword, into the ocean. Then he ran away.  
  
***  
  
"One kiss isn't everything, Auron. In fact, it was nothing. Our relationship from now on is strictly professional, you understand?" I started to see him as he really was. A child, nothing more. A silly child who needed a new toy. I am no toy.  
  
"Agreed." As I turned to leave, he pulled me back behind the conductor. "I'm sorry Lulu. I didn't realise how stupid this whole thing was. Just coming back, treading these old paths reminded me of her."  
  
"Her?" Ruthy popped out from behind my skirt.  
  
"The monk's daughter?" I said.  
  
"Yes." Auron laughed. "Kinoc's daughter."  
  
"Maester Kinoc?" I was so surprised my mouth must have been wide open because Ruthy was copying me exactly. A loud crack hit the conductor.  
  
"I broke her heart. She was so beautiful. She looked a little like you, just reminded me, you know?" Like Tidus reminded me of Chappu?  
  
"I understand." I stepped forward and stroked his arm like a mother hugged her son. "Don't worry, Auron."  
  
"I won't." he laughed. "Hey, you're mothering me too now, huh?"  
  
Like he said, I mother everyone apart from myself. Did I mother Yuna too much? Did I make her feel suffocated? Yuna smiled at me and I remembered when I hugged her at the Moonflow. Had I squeezed her too hard? I had squeezed the life out of Ginnem here four years ago... Had I ruined this pilgrimage too?  
  
"Yo! Lu!" My voice of reason called.  
  
"What, Wakka?"  
  
"Yuna wants to speak to us!"  
  
I prayed for good news but my prayers are never answered. 


	13. An Icy Reception

Hi everybody, again, apologies for this taking so long. Hope it was worth the wait!  
  
I couldn't believe it either. There we were, all eight of us, against the very person who was supposed to help us. It didn't make sense. I saw Yuna working hard to keep us protected from Seymour's minions but I knew she was feeling the strain. A Firaga spell shot at her from nowhere and I couldn't watch.  
  
"YUNA!" I shouted, and threw her a potion. She stood back up and nodded all me. She looked okay again, albeit slightly steaming. Tidus ran forwards, sword held high.  
  
"No!" A few of us screamed but, again, this new companion surprised us. He skidded around Seymour and his Guado servants, slashing and splicing, ducking and dicing until he jumped back to us. The minions collapsed and their souls began their journey. I looked at him in awe. He smiled back.  
  
"Nice one, brudda," said Wakka and we continued to fight Seymour. We hit him again and again, endless sword hit after another. When Ruthy and I cast spells, they made no difference..  
  
Or so it seemed..  
  
He began to show that his will was cracking. He bent down and Kimahri stuck his spear into him. He ran back and I exhaled as a compliment. He growled quietly, which I think was a sign of thanks. Seymour fell to the ground. 'This is it!' I kept thinking, 'This is it! We've defeated him!'  
  
"Come, Anima. Feel my pain!"  
  
"Oh.. no.." said Yuna, breathless. "Not.. now..not that aeon, please no.."  
  
Sure enough, the room went blood red and everybody clutched their heads to try and deafen the disgusting humming sound. The metal claw plunged into the floor in front of my very eyes and I wanted to give up. I wanted to pack it all in and just say 'Sorry.' But I looked over at Yuna and knew I couldn't.  
  
Everybody winced at her roar. The beast had finally made her first attack, right at Kimahri behind us, in the wings. A ray of blue light shot out of her hideous eye and pierced him in the heart. Kimahri collapsed and Rikku ran to his side and began her work.  
  
"Kimahri!" screamed Yuna. She looked devastated. She wanted to be there, to heal him herself but we needed her more than ever now. I knew what she had to do and I felt the sadness brimming inside me.  
  
"Yuna! The new aeon!" said Tidus.  
  
"Be strong, Yuna. Show us what your training has taught you." I nodded at her to go on.  
  
Yuna looked at me with her odd, innocent eyes and I could only look back and wait. I couldn't read her eyes; she was too scared. Or was I too scared? Yuna took a step back and held her arms high above her head. I took Tidus by the hand and we ran to the others.  
  
"Is the Kimahri okay?" said Tidus, breathing heavily.  
  
"He'll be fine; he's a fighter," said Auron. I patted Rikku's shoulder.  
  
"Great job," said Ruthy. Rikku beamed at him. Her gaze went past Ruthy and I and focussed on Yuna. Ice crystals had formed a cage around my dear summoner; she bent down shivering.  
  
"Is Yunie okay?" Rikku's face contorted into panic. I sat down beside her and hugged her tightly.  
  
"She's fine, Rikku. She knows what she's doing." This was good enough for Rikku and she nodded.  
  
I looked up and saw her float down. That shimmering coat of moonlight only showed her feet. She landed on the cold ceramic tiles and threw the cloak to a star struck Yuna. She clicked her fingers and the crystals shattered and melted, running over the crooks and gaps in the grout of the temple tiles.  
  
"What's up?" said Ruthy, spotting my strange expression.  
  
"Hmm," I said, gazing at the aeon, "My mother just arrived."  
  
***  
  
"How is she?" said Orrin as he paced up and down the dirt track.  
  
"She's fine," said the tired midwife. "Well, apart from the labour pains but it's all normal, Orrin. Calm down."  
  
"You know I trust you, don't you Ferri? I mean, you delivered that other boy in the village a few weeks ago, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes, I did. Healthy and flame hair. He was desperate to get into the world; I've never seen one come out so fast! It seems that your little one is a little more leisurely in their arrival." Orrin nodded and Ferri pushed the bedroom curtain aside and entered.  
  
Orrin shivered. He wasn't used to Macalania. When Shiva insisted on their baby being born in Macalania, Orrin insisted on the midwife being Besaidian. Ferri was a wise woman, he told himself. She'll look after Shiva. Shiva could look after herself of course but he couldn't help but notice that her lips were when she started. He peeked through the curtain. It was again a Macalanian tradition that the husband wasn't there at the birth but he wanted to see the baby so much. Shiva's face contorted from pain to exhaust to strain and then back to pain. He had to be in there, he'd do anything to be in there.  
  
He didn't have to be outside much longer. There was a sound of a large exhale and young screaming. He ran in and sat beside his wife.  
  
Her black hair was matted on her forehead, pearls of sweat were on her brow and her cheeks had returned from burgundy to their pale cream. Orrin stared into his wife's moon-like eyes.  
  
"You're so beautiful. I love you," he kissed her hand. Shiva would have replied but she was still breathless.  
  
"Here she is," said Ferri, beaming. She handed a bundle of rags to Shiva. Orrin poked his fingers gently around the cloths.  
  
Inside was the baby, their baby, a girl. Her hair was midnight black and her wrinkled skin like cream.  
  
"Most babies' skin is red when they come out but," Ferri scrubbed her hands and turned to smile at them, "she is going to be different."  
  
"Yes she is," said Shiva quietly. Their daughter yawned. Wow, thought Orrin, my daughter, our daughter. "I know what she'll be called now."  
  
"What?" said Orrin, enthralled.  
  
"Lulu," was all that Shiva said. Orrin accepted this with quiet admiration. He kissed his wife's forehead. Suddenly Lulu opened her eyes. They were dark red-brown, fire eater's eyes as Orrin's grandmother used to call them.  
  
"Wow," was all that Orrin could say, "Wow, wow, wow.."  
  
***  
  
"Why?" wailed Lulu. "Why mother? I don't want you to go, no!" she started to cry. Shiva looked at her daughter at the same eye level and felt pearls of salt water run down her cheeks.  
  
"I love you, Lulu. This is something I have to do."  
  
"No you don't! You don't have to do anything! You can come and live with me! Stay with me mother, don't go!"  
  
"I have to, Lulu. I love you and take good care of your father." Shiva clutched her daughter tightly. "One day, Lulu, you will understand. When you love someone and want to look after them, you will do anything to make sure they're safe."  
  
"Mummy?" said Lulu quietly.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Are you going because I spilt my drink all over your dress?" Shiva laughed at her daughter's innocence, shook her head and kissed her all over her face.  
  
"I love you, Lulu." Her daughter fell silent.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Then she disappeared from this world and Lulu's life. All her daughter could do was stand there and cry.  
  
***  
  
"I knew we'd get an 'icy' reception," said Ruthy, trying desperately to cheer me up. I groaned and gave him a playful punch.  
  
I was upset after seeing that blue sphere in the woods. Yes, it was a long time ago but watching Braska with Jecht and Auron like that, just so carefree but always cracking under the burden of what they did. I stared into Jecht's eyes as he gave his final message to his son. I could read people's eyes, my grandmother said I had a gift for it. These were brown and deep; surprisingly I couldn't see a conscience. I always thought he was a great, brave man but he couldn't even build up enough courage to say 'I love you' to his son. I never wanted to turn out like that man. More specifically, I didn't want Wakka to turn into him.  
  
Chappu and Auron no longer plagued me but Wakka continued to amaze me. He was angry and discontent. I heard myself thinking this and I knew what a hypocrite I was. There we all were, below the lake, the strange fog above us keeping us all dry. It was either the fog or the fact that we were so far down that no water could reach us. That was unnerving. We'd faced many fiends and monsters; even a Maester of Yevon and still being deep underwater gave me shivers.  
  
"Wait," said Tidus.  
  
"What's up?" said Wakka.  
  
"The Fayth," I said. "They've stopped singing." 


	14. The Sand and the Wind

"Lulu? Lulu! Wake up!" Wakka pounded the door of his friend's hut. He was out of breath and scared because the news he held was devastating. His cheeks were stained with dried tears and his heart was trying to escape through his throat, or at least that's what it felt like. "Lulu! Answer the door! Open it right.."  
  
"What is it?" The door opened and there she stood; hair in a make-do bun and wearing a silk kimono dressing gown. Her voice was groggy and her eyes half open but she still managed to read the look on her oldest friend's face. "Wakka, what's wrong?"  
  
"It's.. Lulu, this is.." The words were choking him, like a creeper. He started to cough and bent over double, his face red and strained.  
  
"What, Wakka? What is it?" Lulu bent down beside him and stroked his back. He turned round to face her.  
  
"It's Chappu, Lulu. He's dead."  
  
***  
  
I woke with a start, the sand sticking to the tears on my face. Sand? All I could see around me was sand and the wind that ruffled my hair and stung my tired face. I sat up and clutched my knees. The wind was cold but the horizon was distorted with the humidity. I scanned my new surroundings. No one else was here.  
  
Am I dead?  
  
Was this the Farplane? Is this what being dead felt like?  
  
I couldn't describe how I felt. It felt normal but everything was new. I was completely alone but I could feel people all around me. I could feel jealousy seething in me but I felt as calm as the waters in Besaid. I felt tired but I wanted to run for miles.  
  
"Where are we?" said a voice beside me. I looked around to face them. It was Ruthy.  
  
"I don't know. Are we dead?"  
  
"I doubt it." Ruthy crawled over my arm and sat on my shoulder. All I could see was sand and the wind; all I could feel was the heat, the cold and the numbness inside of me. "Hey, Miss Lu? Why you crying?"  
  
"I'm not crying," But I was. Small salty teardrops ran over the contours of my cheekbones and the flesh that clung to my face. Ruthy sighed. He took out a handkerchief from nowhere and started to dab my eyes.  
  
"Tut, always trying to be the soldier!" Ruthy stared into my eyes and his voice suddenly became serious. "It's okay to be wounded once in a while, Miss Lu. It's always okay to be wanted to be healed."  
  
"I had a bad dream," I said, swallowing. I sounded like a little girl, my voice going all high and squeaky. "It's the one about the day Chappu died." Ruthy nodded at me to go on. "I'm just sleeping and then Wakka comes to the house. He's crying and shaking.. and then he tells me.. he tells me that.. his little brother is dead." I started crying and shaking myself. Ruthy patted my head.  
  
"I'm sorry Miss Lu. It didn't sound that good."  
  
"It was horrible," my voice returned to it's normal tone, "I just didn't expect it." At that moment, the sky was split in a sound of thunder and the sight of lightning in the distance.  
  
"Bet you didn't expect that either!" said Ruthy, noticeably more relaxed as he was joking again. I stood up, grabbed Ruthy and ran as fast as I could to where the sounds and sights were coming from. "Hey! Wait - where are we going?"  
  
My legs were possessed. It didn't seem like I was controlling myself, making myself run. Someone else was controlling them for me. The heat started to swim round my head, making me grey out but I kept running. I snapped my neck up and kept running.  
  
After what seemed like a second, I came to an oasis. Clear blue water, palm trees, rocks and.. a zu? This huge creature was beating its heavy, leathery wings against Tidus and Auron. It threw them into the air a couple of feet and made them come back down to earth in a storm of electricity. They both stood up again but looked considerably weaker. I ran forwards and stood beside Auron, who was leaning on his sword.  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked nervously. They both nodded but they needed help. More specifically, my help. I raised my arms up high and felt the fire burning in my eyes. I brought them back down, screaming as they hit my sides. All I could see was flames and all I could hear was screams, mine and others I couldn't recognise. Then there was just nothing.  
  
Silence.  
  
Tidus and Auron stared at me. I stared at them, breathing heavily. I turned round and looked at Ruthy. He was breathing fast as well. He looked so tired. I picked him up in my arms and stroked his head. Tidus and Auron were still staring.  
  
"What?" I snapped.  
  
"Didn't you see what you just did?" Tidus said quickly, his eyes full of shock.  
  
"All I could remember was fire," I said, drifting off. I felt my forehead; it was dripping with sweat.  
  
"I'm not surprised!" said Tidus, staring at the spot were the zu had been hovering. The sand was completely burnt; there was a ring of ashes, dark and still radiating heat. The zu was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"W-what did I do?" I said, my breathing returning to normal but a dry thirst was creeping up my throat, making me click when I swallowed.  
  
"You just created," said Auron slowly, "A barbe-zu. All we saw was a huge Ring of Fire burst from you and then swallow the zu."  
  
"Please, Auron," said Tidus, "quit the puns and rhymes."  
  
We started walking because that was all there was to do. Tidus and Ruthy ran ahead of us, 'to find the others' while Auron and I walked together, far behind Tidus.  
  
"You've been crying," said Auron, matter of factly, breaking the bubble of silence that had seemed to form around us.  
  
"And?" I said.  
  
"Well, what have you been crying about?" Auron took a swig from his leather hide canteen. I watched him swallow. I swallowed myself, my mouth dry and sore. Water, any drink, would be good right now.  
  
"Gimme that!" I snatched it from him and gulped, the tepid water running down my throat like a waterfall.  
  
"Hey! Not so fast! Go slower, or you'll be sick!" Auron took the canteen away from me and I started to choke. He caught me off guard and I tried to cough, the water trickling back up from my nose.  
  
"That's better," I said when I'd stopped coughing.  
  
"You're very clever you know, Lulu," he said, turning to me with his russet eye.  
  
"Hmm?" I was daydreaming, watching Tidus up ahead, his feet kicking sand to the wind.  
  
"You're extremely good of finding clever ways to try and change the subject," I couldn't help but let a smile spread over my face. "So why were you crying?"  
  
"Bad dream," I shrugged.  
  
"I have bad dreams too, you know," he said, putting his canteen back on his belt. "It's human nature. What happened in it, or can't you remember?"  
  
"I dreamed that I was dead," I said, in a trance. Auron gulped but immediately started to cough. "You okay?" Auron nodded and swallowed.  
  
"I have dreams like that too," he shrugged. "When I was on the pilgrimage with Braska and Jecht. Every night, I'd watch my two best friends die." He voice went very quiet. "And then they did." The wind carried away his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, Auron." All I could do was stand there and stare. I'm not very good in a crisis of emotions with men. I'm more of an expert with female feelings and I doubted that Auron was having those*.  
  
"It's not your fault. It's Yevon's fault."  
  
"Shush!" I said, my finger shooting to my closed lips. "Yevon is an omnipresence you know. He can hear you."  
  
"I'm not doubting that Lulu," Auron said, half-laughing. "In fact, I want him to hear this - You can't control me anymore!" He cried to the sky. "I'd forgotten you even existed! You're fake! You're just a dead priest!"  
  
"Auron, w-what are you talking about?" I said, stopping. I was getting really scared. Auron had never done this before. On this pilgrimage at least.  
  
"Who's dead?" We spun round. It was Tidus and Ruthy with Kimahri.  
  
"Nothing," I said, running my shaking hand through my hair. Tidus nodded. He and Ruthy flung their arms out to Kimahri.  
  
"Guess what we found!" Ruthy beamed at us.  
  
"Where is Yuna?" growled Kimahri. "Yuna safe?"  
  
"I-I don't know, Kimahri," I said sadly. I'd let him down again. Kimahri grunted.  
  
"Kimahri knows not neither," He started to walk away from us slowly, but Tidus still had to run to catch up with him.  
  
"So what's the plan?" said Tidus, hurriedly, Ruthy hitching a lift on his shoulder.  
  
"We search," said Auron, "for everybody who is missing."  
  
"Will Yuna be okay?" Tidus said to me quietly. I looked at him. It was that same look I had when Wakka told me the bad news that changed me forever. Now I had that strained, tired face of someone already grieving. My eyes filled with tears, quenching their dry thirst from the sand and the wind. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't even find the courage to be comforting to him and to myself. Tragedy was in my blood and all around me. I looked down at my feet. Ruthy spoke up, his voice serious again.  
  
"Let her rest for a bit kid. She's been through a lot."  
  
"Haven't we all," shrugged Tidus.  
  
***  
  
* Sorry, I burst out laughing when I wrote that line but I couldn't think of anything else to put down. All I could see was Auron swinging this handbag round this fiend's head saying, "That's how it's done!" then descending into girlish giggling. He he ^__^.  
  
Heyyyyyyyyy everybody! I hoped you liked that chapter although it wasn't the best I've written, I know. See ya all later.  
  
Sayonara!! ^__^ 


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